There was a time when I did not have time and every activity (non-work related) required to be managed. I have been at home for a week now. I quit my job starting February 1. I suddenly have been given the gift of infinite time.
However, this time doesn’t feel like my own. It feels like there are a lot of things that have a claim on it. For starters, I spend most of my day eating! This is so that I can provide sufficient nutrition to the little person growing inside of me. Plus there is the whole list of things I must do since now I have the time, like set right the finances (in that there is none to begin with). We are also planning to shift homes. So all of this take up most of my time. I realized now why cooking and eating form a central part of most Indian households.
Its because if you are at home, you have to eat. And because you are at home you tend to think about what to eat when etc. This is new to me. I never really cared about this and don’t think I ever will. May be this is a training ground for me to face the challenges of being a mom.
There is so much I want to read but somehow I don’t end up picking any books other than baby care or pregnancy related books. Its quite sad really. I never thought that I would need motivation to read. However, I have always adapted quickly and will adapt to this as well. The silver lining is that I can sleep when I want to, eat when I want to and chill. Its been a while in life since I have done that.
This requirement for a sense of structure – is that also a disease? Why can I not accept a day that is my own, which I can mould to take on any shape that I choose? Have I become a corporate stooge who has lost the ability to plan my day, to live my life? Do I need deadlines set for me, to feel satisfied about my days?
Naah. I don’t give up easy. I won’t. I start now, with this blog. I will update people with what I am up to, what is the new thing I have learnt or done. How I spent my days of unemployment …
I am going to start with the easiest thing – watching a movie. It has already brought a smile to my face. Will catch up soon.