On Marriage

I heard something very nice on marriage which Susan Sarandon says (I think its’ in the movie – Shall we dance with Richard Gere). She says that people get married not out of love or passion because they want a witness to their lives. In a universe with one billion people and numerous other species, of what relevance is one life? In a marriage, partners take vows to witness the other’s life and make it count. I will witness every little thing about you – your joys, your happiness, your sorrows, your tears, your beliefs, your faith and your fears and make them seem real to you. I thought about it and believe there is some truth to this.

Recently, while I was attending a very dear cousin’s wedding which had an attendance of over 1000 people, we wondered why there were so many people invited to the wedding. I also thought about a simple wedding at a temple with very close family and friends, wouldn’t that be better. Can the money not be put to better use? Then we got into this discussion on how in every culture a lot of money is spent on weddings. Now that I think of it, weddings are about people witnessing the joy of two individuals and two families. I am sure the feeling of love or togetherness of the couple is a private emotion. But the larger the weddings and more the people attending it, the more it feels like the universe is witness to it and has blessed it.

I guess it is the same with marriage. Kahlil Gibran has said a lot about marriage, but he has also said that children are ‘life’s longing for itself’. It’s true. Marriage is life’s longing for acknowledgement and children are life’s longing for itself. They carry the imprints of their parents and pass it on to the next generation.

I guess marriage is the answer to the question on whether if a tree falls in a jungle where there is no one present – it can be said to make a sound? I guess, the fact that I have lived my life and each day as it unfolded is witnessed by my partner and the same for him.

Right now, my husband is away studying. Everything in life feels unreal. The house feels empty even though I am in it and there is so much stuff in it. Eating feels like a chore something I do mechanically. Life itself feels like it’s on pause. But life goes on as usual. I wake up and go to work. I work (and sometimes blog when I am too bored). I meet people and friends. But something is missing. Something definitely is missing.

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